Coming Out Day - My Coming Out Story

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Today, October 11th, is National Coming Out day. The reason why I am posting this journal is because a friend of mine came out to her mother today, and made a poll asking her watchers if they came out to someone before. I wrote my story down there, and after writing all that I thought it would be interesting to read for those of you who came out of the closet about their sexual orientation or gender identity as well, or those of you who haven't but want to, or don't dare to. You're free to tell me your story in the comments - I am interested in hearing stories of other people, too.

I found out I was homosexual, or, as they say, a lesbian, when I was about 10-11 and got a crush on a girl (which was, of course, very innocent at the time and more of a childish kind of attraction, I didn't even have a desire for kissing back then, I just wanted to protect her). After that first crush, I only fell for girls. I was silent about it at first, everywhere. I was vulnerable to bullying, didn't have (m)any stable friendships and thought my life as it was would end if I came out. I was so sure that if even one person knew, everyone else would follow soon and I'd have no one left to support me at school. I first came out to my friend BewitchingFribbler when I was about 15. She was very supportive, luckily (she later told me her environment was very homophobic and she probably would have shared their views as well had I not come out to her out of all people, which was actually one of the most eye-opening things I ever heard from someone because I never thought I'd have a major influence on anyone). I then came out to my friend, back then best friend, in real life. She was nice too, and after that I was just open about it on DA in general.


I came out of the closet to my family nearly two years ago now. I always felt like I would tell mom once I had a girlfriend, but during my first (or first two, depending if I count the three day one :XD:) relationship, I felt like I didn't have the courage to tell my mother. These girls were not anywhere near here, they were in the USA and I never even saw them in real life. My mother wouldn't understand why I'd get into long distance relationships with someone I never met in the first place - or she would not encourage it, that I know. At some point, though, I was single again, and me and Griwi made plans to meet up in Cologne, because this time the distance was something we could overcome by train. My mother didn't understand why I wanted to go there so badly, but eventually, I could go. We became a couple during that meeting, and the day after, in the evening, I went downstairs.

I told her that Griwi was my girlfriend, and she said "I thought so." She never really suspected it before I wanted to meet her in person, but she got suspicious after I was so keen on going to a foreign city in another country to meet "just a friend". She had a feeling something was going on since that moment, which was a week before our meeting. She merely asked if I had never been interested in boys, never fallen in love with one, and so on. My dad was sitting a few metres away from us, watching television. He hadn't heard so I could tell him the story again, thanks dad. Stare Both of them were supportive, luckily. I went up to my room and then my brother came in, because mom had told him "I needed to tell him something." I started crying because of all the tension I felt after having to say it three times, but luckily he was really nice as well, he said he was happy for me. My sister SanShines already knew for years because she's on DeviantArt and I'm pretty open about it here. LOL My mother even asked if I had paid my sister to keep it silent, but she was just nice like that and let me tell my mother when I was ready for it.

I made a journal on DeviantArt too right after I came out to them, in case you want to read that:  FinallyOkay so
now my parents and brother know about my sexual orientation
8 years after I found out myself :')
I'm such a coward for not telling them earlier. x'D I don't even know why I didn't. It was just so hard to bring up and when they brought the topic up it was always so unexpected. But they all reacted so positively and gah. Especially my brother. I had to cry when I told him but he was so nice about it. :')
Funny thing is, my parents never seemed to suspect a thing x'D Until this week because I really wanted to go to Köln to meet Griwi, and then my mother started to get suspicions (which I kind of did cause myself as a hint for her but she didn't seem to get them at that moment).
I should've told them much sooner, but at least I finally did.
I'm happy now c:


Soon after, mom gradually informed other relatives of mine, so they all got to know about my girlfriend. Apparently, everyone but my one grandmother on father's side. I thought she wouldn't mind as her daughter - my aunt - is married to a woman and has two children, but apparently she never fully accepted it and they had argued about it often, which I didn't know at the time. I casually mentioned it in a conversation and she nearly choked on the apple she was eating. I'm glad everyone else was so chill about it, though. My old highschool friends were surprised, but they were nice about it, and on my new school I just mention it casually when the subject is brought up. Another girl in my class is homosexual, too - and the one guy in our class group is apparently against it, but he has weird opinions in general so eh... XD

So yea, that's it basically I am a dummy! I'm glad to have such a supportive family, I know many people are less lucky than me in that aspect, and I'm really, really sorry for those who have to deal with those things only because they wanted to stop hiding the truth. I hope that the families of those people can come to terms with it eventually, and if not, I hope that those people can find the love they need like anyone else, elsewhere. Maybe it seems senseless to write down a story like this because I don't have to face the hardships that many other have to face, when their family keeps denying their gender or sexual identity, but I feel like maybe, it's important for someone to hear that it doesn't always have to be bad. Not all families will be supportive, but some will be. For those who cannot reveal their identity because of their families' views on these topics, i'm sorry, and I hope you find an environment you can be yourself in sometime. There is a place like that out there.

Do you have a story to share? Feel free to write it in the comments below, or if you decide to make a journal yourself, feel free to link me. I'm always interested in people's stories. If you read this far, thanks a lot! And have a nice day :la:
© 2015 - 2024 Vuurstern
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vorekinq's avatar
(late but o well oops) my parents found out i was homosexual when i came out as transgender to them... that was a wild ride |"D