Don't bring your negativity to someone's happiness

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Vuurstern
Hobbyist Digital Artist






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RANT BELOW

It's been a while since I last wrote a proper rant on something, and as this topic is something I see often on dA, I deemed it important to speak up about it. I think a lot of people don't realise that they are doing this, and that it is actually really bothering to others. DO NOT ASK if this is about you, I see A LOT of people who do this.

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes people upload something and encourage people to share their experiences and feelings, but I'm talking about comments that are completely uncalled for, on regular artworks and all. What bothers me is when someone uploads an artwork, or a journal about something nice going on in their life, and then people comment something like:
"I wish I could draw like this. My art is crap, I'll never be this good."
"Why can't I have your skills? I'm never going to get anywhere near this."
"Wow, that is great. I'm such a loser, this would never happen to me."
"I am jealous. I want that too, no one would ever want such a close bond with me because I'm stupid."
"I would join this, but I don't feel like my art is good enough, I'm sorry."


These comments are 100% unhelpful, do NOT make the artist feel better in ANY way, and as someone who tries to reply to every comment, replying to these is rather awkward.
No seriously, what do you want me to reply to you? Let me show you some possible replies.
- Not replying at all: Makes it feel like you agree with the statement of the commenter. But to be honest, it is also hard to find a reply to such a comment that is alright.
- "Yea, you're right.": Makes you look like a dick for agreeing, but at some point, if you comment these things you're asking for it. Now I never replied this, but when people keep commenting negatively I have to resist the urge to say this. Not because I think their art is crap, but because I'm so tired of dealing with their constant negativity that I didn't ask for on my artwork.
- "Nooo, you're not right, your art is perfect in its own way, you will get there": Whenever I reply like this I feel like the commenter just fished for a compliment and I gave in to it. I hate giving unspontaneous compliments, so I will try to avoid this. I know a lot of people who comment like this don't mean it as fishing for compliments, but to the artist it feels like they are being forced to compliment you as it is the only "nice" reply.
- "Please stop being so negative": Will usually get me a lot of "BUT IT'S TRUE"s resulting in an endless chain of yes/no's. Or even "I have the right to express my opinion."

Do you have the right to express your opinion, feelings, etc. on this site?
Yes. Yes, you do have the right to do that. You have feelings, you do not have to keep them in (very unhealthy!) so sure, let them all out.

Does that mean you have to do it on someone else's uploads?
NO.
There's a time and a place for everything. When someone uploads a picture they are proud of, there is NO need to bring yourself down on it. This isn't about you. The comment section is for feedback about the artwork itself, not for you to complain about the quality of your own art. You can vent, but do do it on your own uploads, make a vent journal or art, talk to a friend about it, have a private conversation, but let people be proud about their own artwork. Your account is for you to express yourself, use it for that purpose. If you're one of those people who never complain in their own journals or own art but always comment negatively on other people's work, I really don't know what to tell you.
If you comment stuff like that, you are bringing the artist down too. They don't want to bring you down, they just want to show their art, so don't act as if they are doing it all to make you feel like shit.
"But that's not how I meant it at all!"
That's how others perceive it. How you meant it doesn't matter, they still won't enjoy your comments.

This also goes for people holding contests, events, collabs, art trades, ... When someone does any of these, don't comment with "I would join in but my art isn't good enough." You're either fishing for compliments or underconfident, or both.
- If you're fishing for compliments, hoping that people will reply reassuring you that your art IS good enough: Stop. Just stop.
- If you really feel like you're not good enough yet, don't comment on it at all. There is literally no use in commenting then. Unless someone explicitly asked you to join, you don't have to mention the fact that you're not joining in! Simple as that.

Also, one more thing. I see it often, on couple art, that there often is the person who feels like they have to comment how jealous they are, how badly they want a relationship too, etc.
This just annoys me to no end. As mentioned before, this is the artist showing off their own happiness, and then someone comes to complain. This isn't about you. That's like going up to a married couple in real life and starting to cry about how unfair it is that nobody wants you. Don't go up to random happy couples to complain about how your love life sucks, go to a friend and talk about it to them. It's super awkward when people you don't even know act super jealous towards you for the mere fact that you are in a relationship!
Really, being in a relationship will not automatically solve all your problems, it is not something you can force, and it requires constant devotion and work to keep it going. You will have to sacrifice things for the other, and they for you. I find it worth it, yes, but it's not always easy, and it's not some sort of accessoire that will provide you happiness 24/7! I feel like a lot of these people barely even know what a relationship is about. All they see is "That person has someone, I want that too" and they go nuts about it.
And this isn't limited to relationships! Close friendships, family happiness, school results, hobbies, nice events, ... yes, you can be jealous of people for all those things. And yes, you can vent about it in your own journal - but don't go up to them and make them feel bad about something they should be happy about, just because you are jealous!

I hope I didn't hurt anyone with this rant, but this has been bothering me a lot, and I see it a lot these days... Hopefully people understand what I'm trying to say here and aren't offended by it.

Whee
© 2014 - 2024 Vuurstern
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